Here we go talk to you about 3 breakthrough tips for feeling good in a positive way.
“Eat something and you’ll feel better”. “Let’s have a drink, that’ll cheer you up”. “I smoke because it relaxes me”. Maybe you’ve heard one of these common phrases? Perhaps you’ve heard one of these- “I won’t try that, I know I’ll be no good at it”. “It’s ok for them, they’ve never had a problem in their lives, everything has been handed to them”.
We often use phrases to explain our actions and reactions when unhappy or just not feeling our best. The people around us are regularly our enablers. They try to help us feel good but really, they just enable our self-destructive behaviours.
Learning to feel good in positive ways is not something many of us are taught as children. In fact, many children are raised with enablers as caregivers. That sounds harsh but how many times, when you were young, did you fall over and someone gave you a lolly, picked you up and smothered you with an outpouring of love, or even just told you it wasn’t a big deal. Your actual emotions and attachments to the event were changed and so was your learning from the event. Instead of these scenarios, maybe you went to the doctor for a visit (or the dentist) and on the way home, you were given a ‘treat’ for going?
Humans are social creatures (as are many primates). We seek comfort from those around us but as technology, distance and differing family structures have come into play- this social grouping has dramatically changed. Even though we used to have social groups around us (enabling our negative responses to a stimulus), we now have little to no social input. This is just as damaging to the developing human brain as an overt ‘reward’ response.
You want to feel good, we all do, but how do you do that in a positive way- regardless of the social structures around you? What happens if you don’t learn to feel good in a positive way? How will you know if you are able to feel good and sustain it without giving things up in your life?
These are a few questions that play in our minds over and over again. Not in our conscious minds as a deliberate thought, but in our subconscious minds as a safety measure. We all possess three parts of the brain. The human brain consists of the hind (the reptilian brain), the midbrain (the emotional brain) and the forebrain (the logical brain). Each part of the brain effects different parts of making decisions. When we make ourselves feel good in negative ways, it’s usually because the hindbrain deems something unsafe. That avoiding danger (or perceived danger) means that we should seek feeling good through what is seen as safe through past experiences. For example, I got drunk and felt good AND I didn’t die. That meets the checkpoints in the hindbrain but is not a healthy way to feel good. The midbrain attaches emotions to everything we do and experience. For example, it will attach a trapped emotion from the past to something you do now. It might let you know that you felt good getting a lollipop after a doctor’s visit. Next time you go the doctor, you might buy yourself a sweet as a reward. Is it a positive way to feel good- no. Is it a learned emotional response or trapped emotion to a memory- sure is. The forebrain will be your reasoning in these circumstances. It will look at your conflicted values and find a logical reason for you to do, eat, say or think something.
So what are the top 3 ways to feel good in a positive way?
- Before eating, drinking or doing something to feel good- ask yourself if there is any emotion, sense of running from pain or towards pleasure or any logical reasoning behind the action. If there is, and it feels it isn’t healthy or positive, reframe it and set up a new action that has no negative consequences.
- When surrounding yourself with others, ask yourself if the people around you are positive influences or if they are seeking to avoid their own issues by influencing your actions. Seek a social network that builds and boosts you rather than keeping you down for their own ends.
- When talking to others r even to yourself, ask yourself if the message and all of its components are positive. That is, if you speak or think something that could potentially denigrate, harm, embarrass or harass the recipient (including yourself) then it is negative communication with negative consequences. If your communication is positive it will have an on flowing effect of positivity which will in turn encourage positive actions and reactions from the recipient.
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“Wholistic Natural Health was an amazing resource, the teachings were thorough but relayed in a relatable manner – my coach picked me up when I was feeling down… Embracing the process, it has encouraged me to take better care, both physically & emotionally. I feel like I’m getting some control back & I’m not blaming myself for other people’s behaviours. Thank you.” Lisa H
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To learn how to feel good in a positive way, we are offering the first 5 people a bonus coaching call with each Health Strategy Session booked. Simply click here to book an appointment or you can click here to contact us and use the subject ‘FEEL GOOD’ to secure your bonus session.